First, the good news. I have entered Art the Wanderer in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. It's a yearly contest for new novelists to get exposure and possibly be published. If I should win, Art the Wanderer will be published by Penguin Press.

My decision to enter was based in large part on the positive feedback I received from all of you. Art was something I kinda just 'did.' I had the usual fantasies about getting published, becoming a famous writer, and having super models bathe me with $100 bills daily, but never really acted on it. So, thanks to you all, I'm taking a step to actually realize that dream.

And now, the bad news: I won't be updating Art for the duration of the contest. I talked to a real-live writer and was told that putting pages of an unpublished novel on the net is an absolute 'no-no.' Even if I won first prize, having part of AtW up could cause real problems. So, I have decided to take all the pages down and stop updating for the immediate future.

I am truly sorry about this, as I honestly don't want to leave you all hanging. You have all been amazingly supportive of me and I truly appreciate it.

I will keep you all updated as to Art's progress in the contest and if/when I will be updating Art again. I am also intending on submitting a few short stories to some magazines, so I will let you all know if anything happens on that front as well.

Again, I am truly sorry that I need to stop updating Art. It was never my intention to stop in the middle and I hope you understand why I felt it was necessary. Feel free to call me a 'bastard' if you should see me in real life.

NOTE: Please clarify why you're calling me a bastard. I get called that all the time and like to keep a log of specific reasons (it's a hobby).

Cheers,
-Jason

We have been confirmed for the Emerald City ComicCon. Leigh and I will be there both days and I believe our colorist Leah will also be there both days, though don't quote me on that. The dates this year are March 13th and 14th.

I have also applied for Stumptown and hopefully we will get in again. It will be on April 24th and 25th.

Honestly, I'm excited for con season to start again. I really do have fun at the cons. I enjoy talking with our fans and generally just getting to meet them. We've also made friends with other creators (or 'con-buddies') and it's traditional to hang out afterwards and eat copious amounts of food. The fact that there are often attractive women in superhero costumes in no way plays a part in this.

Anyway, look for the usual nonsense next week.

Cheers,
-Jason

I woke up at about 3:30 this morning. This is fairly normal for me, as my body hates me and doesn’t actually want me to get any rest. An alternate theory is that the government is purposefully beaming Y-Rays (one better than X) at me in order to keep me tired and thus unable to take over the world. Please pick the theory you like best.

Anyway, as I lay there at 3:30, I had an idea for the bestest blog ever. It had a hilarious premise, a catchy title, and used the word ‘conflagration’ at least 3 times. It was so good I actually laid there giggling to myself, anticipating how staggeringly funny it would be.

And where is this blog of blogs you ask? This apex of amusement? This titan of t-something?

I don’t know. I forgot.

I really didn’t want to. I firmly told myself to remember what it was about so that I could then write it tonight. I even promised myself I would not forget. And yet, I did.

‘Well?’ I can hear you saying. ‘Why didn’t you write it down?’ I considered that, but the desk was so very far away and my bed was so very warm. I also can’t read my own handwriting. Seriously, it’s that bad. I don’t make shopping lists because when I get to the store, I have to have the clerks help decipher what I wrote. Last time that happened I came home with $50 in charcoal briquettes and I don’t even own a barbecue.

However, I promise the next time I have a great idea at 3:30am, I will endeavor to record it in some fashion. Perhaps some sort of pulley-system involving monkeys . . .
But for now, you’ll just have to make do with this blog about how I forgot the bestest blog ever.

Cheers,
-Jason

Today was Groundhog Day. For those of you not in the know, Groundhog Day is a tradition where a groundhog is pulled out of his lair for no really good reason and displayed while people drink. Wait, that’s not quite it. Groundhog Day is related to an old German tradition that says ‘if a groundhog sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.” And then people drink.

It is one of our more fanciful traditions, though I am at a loss as to how you’d know if the groundhog saw his shadow or not. Does he do a little dance? Pee himself? Bite the idiot human holding him in a desperate attempt to get back to his lair? I honestly don’t know.

Anyway, there was a whole bit about this tradition on the news this morning, with the announcers making the usual, tired Groundhog Day jokes. They had a clip of the ‘largest Groundhog Day celebration,’ with the groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, being manhandled in front of a crowd.

NOTE: Wikipedia just informed me that if the groundhog sees his shadow, he’ll scurry back into his den. If he doesn’t, he’ll come out and smoke a cigarette. Wikipedia never lies.

This got me thinking. There are so many events that could be livened up with the inclusion of animals. I mean, everyone loves animals, especially when they pee and/or bite a local newscaster. So here’s a list of events that I think animals need to be included in:

Presidential Elections
The presidential candidates should have to get into a ring and fight a lion. If they refuse, then they obviously don’t have the mettle to be president. If they get eaten, then they obviously weren’t strong enough to lead the country. If the candidate wins, then he or she has demonstrated sufficient strength and determination to sit in the White House. And besides, no one else will dare mess with us because our president fought a frickin’ lion and won.

The Academy Awards
Just let a bear loose at some point. It would make the whole thing much more fun to watch. Everyone will be on the edge of their seats waiting for the bear and the tabloids will have a field day with their ‘who got mauled’ specials. Everyone wins.

Golf
Now, I realize that some people really like to watch golf, but I am not one of them. This is why I would add alligators to all the water traps and make the players wear meat pants. If a course does not have water features, I would then just randomly parachute alligators in. If a player is attacked and manages to beat off the reptile with a club, he gets an eagle or vulture or whatever. Just think of it: “Well, Tiger’s on the 8th and he’s teein- oh! Here comes an alligator! Tiger’s switching clubs, going for a spiked 9-Iron and yes, he’s fighting the alligator! Y’know, most golfers would have gone with a putter for an alligator of that size, but that’s why Tiger’s such a competitor!”

Is it a perfect plan? Well, no, but I like it. Plus, it would annoy PETA which is always a bonus.

Cheers,
-Jason

Saturday is game day!

I'm taking my friends through a custom horror campaign called 'The Black Tree.' It's loosely based on Cthulhu, but with my own mythology and such. It has very few rules and is meant to be played fast. XP is earned through roleplay, so the more in character you are, the more points you earn.

At present, the players are trapped in a house where a slaughter took place many years ago and are re-experiencing the events. They have to figure out how to a) end the cycle of events that led to the slaughter b) stop the perpetrator c) and simply survive. All of them may not make it, especially since a key piece of the puzzle was smashed.

Please allow me to indulge in an evil laugh. WHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! Thank you.

Look for the usual offering next week and enjoy your weekend (I know I will).

Cheers,
-Jason